UNH@PPY S@TURD@Y!!!

Me again.. to describe my unhappy.. Althought I'm ok now, but I just can't keep myself STOP thinking on the unhappy moment..

Last Saturday after house warming party (my cousin sis), Ah Lok and me and his frend went to pub..ing but it is like clubbing place.. At first I tell Ah Lok i wish to go disco more.. coz super long time since i step in once in my life.. In that building, down part is d pub and the 2nd level is the disco.. So i make a joke says that I wish to go UP tere more than down.. Coz went clubbing vf tem is a super sien d idea.. Coz tey will onli stick their "batok" on the chair.. No ppl dance vf me.. SIEN!!

About 2am, they order 3 Blank Label finished dy lo.. So some1 suggest, y not go UP play again.. Their "plau" is = "shake head" lo.. Once I heard they wana go, I oledi tell Ah Lok i do1 go.. I wana go home.. Coz i scare I cant tahan.. (I mean cant tahan c them have those things) I dono y, I just cant tahan seeing them harming themselves.. My heart will be very PAINFUL.. like DYING!! I prefer die than seeing them like this.. I thought I can push myself to accept.. But at last I pull out.. I CANT, I just CANT.. That time, I cant stop blaming myself that tell him that I wish to go disco more than clubbing.. NOW I super regret.. I want change, I will like clubbing more than disco.. I SWEAR to God, I will not step into Disco anymore.. And I wont HIM to step into those place either.. I SWEAR I won't..

I'm very pain that time.. I really wish to die because I hurt them.. If I din say so, Ah Lok also won't take it as granted.. He curi curi tak half pill in front of me.. Of coz, say curi curi means under table he accpet the pill from Ah Choong.. I saw it.. I really SAW it.. and he know i saw it too.. I went to the toilet, and my tears start rolling down.. Like tab water.. I slap myself for being so childish.. I slap myself more n more.. It is painful.. but my heart lagi pain.. He ask ppl to look for me.. But i do1 to go out.. I cant take up the challenge to face all of them.. At last, I push myself out (coz there are many more ppl wish to use the toilet) I scare being slap by ppl.. When I went out, I start to ... i don't wish them to care me.. I don't wish to stand near them.. I saw their head is going left n right.. All vomit like hell, coz they drink too much during clubbing time (Downstaire)- I know this during Sunday lunch vf Ah Choong.. From his info, all can't drive home at time too.. All is high n blur like hell..

WHY WHY WHY?? WHY wana like this?? just cant like clubbing.. DISCO this word is what?? Izzit any setting that DISCO is take PILL places?? Izzit written there?? Izzit written in somewhr else?? Why Why Why.. I really have a BAD BAD SATURDAY.. I HATE it.. I HATE it!!~